Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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