she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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