dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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