there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
