your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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