First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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