I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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