girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
