Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
