I wish my penis had an off switch
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
