my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
