I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
My vagina just clenched in fear
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
