Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
