I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
