I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
