Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
