You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
