so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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