the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize