ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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