if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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