I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
