I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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