If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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