He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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