So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize