Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i think i have two assholes
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
