I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i believe in u and ur pee
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