where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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