Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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