he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The air taste purple.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
