you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
