thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
