i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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