They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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