Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
im on a boat
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