Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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