porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Randomize
