what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize