I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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