I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
