it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
