Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
