do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
