I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
