I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t yaâ€
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
