The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
its not stalking. its research.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
