remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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