JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
