why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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