I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
