What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
