12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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