Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
