I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize