just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
