idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
