So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
