So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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