xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
