I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
