May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
