we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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