a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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