I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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