M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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