I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize