My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize