why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
