Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize