He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize