are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
