My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
