just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
