Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize