Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
