i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
