quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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