i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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