did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
